Some reading material
Jan 23rd
Hey all!
Some reading for the lunar new year!
- Violence against Women
- Violence against women – what we talk about when we talk about buying sex
- Violence against women – Primary prevention of violence against women: Training needs of violence practitioners
- Violence against women – Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Disorders of Extreme Stress (DESNOS) Symptoms Following Prostitution and Childhood Abuse
- Violence against women – Exiting Prostitution: An Integrated Model
December 17: What will you do on that day?
Dec 11th
Show your support. Pin it on.
What are you going to on that day?
Communication 101 for the volunteers
Aug 11th
you can twit a bit here and there according to the context you are experiencing.
when i first started out, i used to let the sex workers know that through the questions, i am hoping to understand what their needs are and how best we can think of some solutions together so that they could be in a safer working environment. to make the conversation comfortable for each other, one of the tricks is to share some of your own little info too, it doesn’t have to be your whole life history but if you see something similar with them, you can offer a little of your side of story. this makes it a 2-way real conversation and not you are the one questioning coz prolonged questioning could be perceived as interrogation or arrogance. and you don’t need to find out all information in one go!
and you may also need to ease back a little if you sense it’s too much for the person. it’s ok, don’t need to rush coz sometimes the person is not ready to tell you certain things. if you are totally at ease with yourself, they will be at ease. you might think there are some questions/areas which are too sensitive to go into, and are unsure if you would tread into those waters. well, you can test your toe first, and observe the reaction. sometimes they might be somewhat cheezed off by a certain question but it doesn’t mean they hate you. you might just have punched the wrong button, just apologise and say you shouldn’t have said that, and i am 85% sure they will see you with in different light.
there are lots of things to learn in communication, especially to a community that we seldom communicate with. but it’s very challenging and if you are patient and observant enough, you will learn many many skills. and lastly, it’s ok to make mistakes la, and it doesn’t mean you have hurt them, we don’t have that kind of power to hurt them, we just annoy them that’s all.
Question Guide
- what is your dream? (this will gear the conversation towards another direction but it’s fun way to begin the conversation with!)
Conventional questions:
- are you used to the culture, weather, food etc? how long have you been here already since you find the weather too hot for you?
- what kind of food do you eat in your own country? i like chee cheong fun very much, do you know what is chee cheong fun?
- where is exactly your part of province/hometown in that particular country? my geography is not good so you must enlighten me.
- how many family members do you have? do you miss them? do you call them everyday? but phone card is very expensive here!
- tell me why you are here to work coz both you and i know it’s tough to work here.
- but how do you know there is this place called Geylang? anyone told you? what did they say?
- what are some of the pleasant/good experience you have met and what some some of the not so pleasant experience? (customers, police, public)
- like, when you go out to buy things, have you experienced any pleasant/unpleasant incidents?
- like, customers good or bad (violent, cheating, don’t pay etc)
- like, police treatment (for those with Special Pass)
- like, the gangsters in the area (play you out during a raid? unreasonable protection fees)
- do you think there is any danger in your work?
- or what do you think are some of the things that could make you feel safer and more comfortable at work?
- what are some solutions you think might help?
Lorong Something
Aug 10th
A poem by Stephanie Chan on her visit to Geylang:
Some stray cats here have collars, sit in doorways of houses, others shit on piles of ashes. All, the same grey-white marks. One cat sleeps between the old lady by the drain (saying, she told me she felt itchy down there i tell her always tell him wash his mouth before bleblehbleh. because you dunno how many he bleh before after you—common sense) and the tall skinny Malay kid with the miniskirt some guy yells Ahmad at from his car, driving off. On a bad night, he stops: contusions, pulled hair, handcuffs, Ah Kwa. The kid leans against the drain railing. Waiting like the old lady. Still early: the moon not up yet. Just fire everywhere.
Blazing, both sides of the road, blazing controlled in metal drums. First day, Seventh Month: tis the season for sacrifice. Paper prayers turn to embers, ashes, heat. Smells changing from block to block, MRT station to coffeeshop: traffic fumes to belacan, garlic, bad breath; to where it spills onto the alley: smoke and sweat. Its hard to describe, though you’ve been here before in bad movies, TV. Here the streets are cleaner. No creepy music follows you round every cracked corner. Men push past, give you second glances. Clinical street lights, brighter. Clan association house: in front, a grey van, saris pushed up against. Red Bull inside for one dollar. Chinese man selling drinks to Construction Workers. In every house an altar (eh hurry move don’t block). Perfume, foundation, mascara, short-shorts. Checking faces in pocket mirrors, checking over their shoulders.
Eyes dart. They stand. Not really there but who is? Not the cars, taxis, drivers that slow as they crawl past. Don’t stare, keep going. All that separates you from her, human from girl: the difference between walking and stopping. In alleys behind coffeeshops, the Men and the world prepare to meet again:
Man U match on outdoor TV, beer, VCDs. Purgatory. We are all in limbo here.
Dixie’s reflection
Jun 26th
Bridging people:
We armed ourselves with bags of condoms and candies and whatever catches their interest.
We are akin to a dispenser of daily necessities (and probably seen as dispensable ourselves)
When we ran out of them, there was hardly any excuse for us to go up to them, hardly any incentive for them to look our way.
There are many walls–theirs and also ours.
On a less philosophical note, I find difficulty in accepting the fact that their job/income is constantly fluctuating. For most of us there is always some limit as to how much instability you face in job/studies/life. For them rain/world cup/raids could mean a hell lot of difference. And this can stretch for days. There were lamentations, but I am curious to know how they actually cope. Do they have a ‘rainy-day’ fund?Borrow from friends?Go hungry? I hope that as the weeks go by, my questions will be addressed…bit by bit.
Feb 1st
Project X was featured in the New Paper on 31 Jan 2010. the journalist had worked very fast and he got a story out within 1 and a half weeks. when we were talking about the article, i had asked him to write a note to thank the volunteers who have one way or another put in an effort in the project, but it didn’t appear in the article, so perhaps the editor didn’t think it’s important enough.
From the start of this project, volunteers have come and go. as much as i am contemplative about the sex workers’ situation, problems or personal issues, I am just as contemplative about the volunteers. I remember when the project first started and i was quite desparate for volunteers, this person who had discussed this issue in depth with me and was ready to get onto the streets when unexpectedly she pulled out due to family commitments. I must admit at that point, I was pretty disappointed and was feeling down for a while. It was like one of my arms was gone, I have lost a comrade in a cause.
I received a text last saturday, one of the volunteers who have helped me a lot coz she has all the lobangs in the social work field, was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy, a form of muscle dysfunction on the facial nerves. i was feeling pretty ding dong, another comrade is out. in paying tribute to this volunteer, i would say she was very enthusiastic and willing in helping out. There was a time when i called her late in the night to ask for a referral to a Shelter, no hesitation and the answer was given almost immediately although I knew she had to make a lot of phone calls to get things done. There was also a time when Tok Hian, me and herself spent a hilarious time brainstorming on new ways to create social awareness in the churches and other places because she felt it is important to raise awareness especially in the churches. and she told me how she annoyed she was when her christian friends asked her if she could bless the sex workers.
She had said Project X has given her a lease of life from the mundanity of her behind-the-desk job, it gives her a sense of working directly with the people and she wanted to do as much as she could. So, I will be waiting for her to return to action.
